February 2012
388 posts
I saw Wanderlust earlier. It is hilarious. You...
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I played the first part and my best friend’s house. It was batshit insane! Like a Hindu version of God of War, but made even less sense than that. It’s like injecting testosterone straight into the vein under your dick!
I think I’m the lucky one in all this. I have two very sexy and amazing sister wives who want some of dis!
accidentalmusic asked: :) :D Oh yeah... *
storiesofaginger asked: <3;):):D;O:p:k*<*38=D I wanna touch you, hard.
curvalicioustiff asked: * and :)
fatseux asked: :D
gingerhannahnicole asked: ;) :D you're a swell guy
juicyjacqulyn asked: :) *
jennylewren asked: :|
Single or not, reblog to see what you get.
hayfuckyou:
<3 = I’m falling for you.
:) = I wanna cuddle up with you while watching movie.
;) = I like you a lot.
:( = You should talk to me more.
:D = You’re sexy/beautiful.
;O = I want to be best friends.
:P = I want you more than anything.
:K = Kiss me.
:| = You annoy me.
* = We need to make out!
<*3 = I want a relationship with you.
8=D = I want to do sexual things with...
The Walking Dead catch-up. (Season 2).
So, I love the Walking Dead comic book. It’s really a fine piece of sequential art. The writing is top notch featuring many amazing, complex and compelling characters that are developed over a long saga format. Also, Kirkman is never afraid to sacrifice a character he spent 24 issues developing, which is truly bold. The art is always detailed and evocative making some of the longer...
storiesofaginger replied to your post: So is there anything good on tv tonight besides Eastbound & Down?
Worst Cooks in America!
That’s the only acceptable answer.
So is there anything good on tv tonight besides...
Jen Kirkman - comedian: New York (Behind The)... →
jenkirkman:
Stop writing articles about how articles have been written debating whether women are funny. Stop writing articles about how women were funny on SNL this year in some noteworthy female-centric sketches.
YOU SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF MORONS!
…
Watchpaulftompkins:
shahruz:
Promo on IFC for the upcoming Comedy Bang Bang TV show!!!
BE EXCITED.
I am.
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Entropy, a short story collection
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/entropy/15742046
Buy my senior project! (If you want, no pressure).
Reblogging because I spammed you with my shitty free stories that are unedited and not rethought. If you liked them at all then you might like my short story collection, Entropy. I’m actually proud of it. I edited it as best I could and put a lot of work in reworking the stories. It’s...
Love comes in all sizes: An exploration of fat... →
invertandcrush:
Part 1 of the fat sexuality story I wrote for TNGG Boston’s up.
A really well written and smart article on the subject. Easily one of the better ones written dealing with it (Probably my favorite though). Look out for part 2 soon. Dude’s got some truth to say!
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Dying in the Back of an ElDorado
I sat there in one of three horrible dayglo orange chairs lined up against the outside wall of the Principal’s office. Next to me was the secretary’s desk, an oversized thing made of fake food and fake plastic. Statues of fairies cluttered the desk and pictures of what I imagined were a boyfriend, although, it could have been a pug.
The secretary sat behind her desk pretending to do work, but...
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Flaming Tango beneath the Beard of a Colossus
Flaming Tango beneath the Beard of a Colossus
“Can you believe they finally completed it?” A man in a white tuxedo with winged collar says as devours free jumbo shrimp.
“The sheer ingenuity of it all is a marvel!” A woman to his right in a red cocktail dress laughs coquettishly as she touches his gold cuff links.
A rakish looking middle-age man in a...
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Melting, Evaporation, and Decomposition
A short story I wrote a year ago during a hot August night in a UCI dorm room. “All I can remember of her is she used to say, ‘fruit is dying’. She said it repeatedly, like it meant something to me. Now it is all I can think about… I still have no idea what she meant.” He thinks lying on his mattress as he stares at the stains on the wall noting the different colors. “Brown, yellow, green, brown...
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The Words and the Curls
I wrote this a couple of hours before the second to last class of the quarter based on a writing prompt from McSweeny’s. The prompt is unimportant, and the story could be expanded. Anyway, Old people throwing
money, murder, french fries with gravy and a little girl peeing in a bucket.
Tuesday 2:01 a.m.
Tony stumbled out of The Rusty Tambourine smelling of dollar whiskey shots and...
The FBI Doesn’t Use Comic Sans
The first story I wrote for this quarter of Advance Fiction. Unedited in a sense.
It always starts off slowly and without any cognoscente thought of what you’re doing. The beginning is a simple cribbing of a guitar lick then progresses to incorporating a little duck walk, and by the end it is nothing but self deprecation and Nickelback. And no one remembers how to “Twist’n’shout” or what it’s...
Tyler Perry in White Face
After I leave the community college…
I drive twenty blocks down Seventeenth Street to the parking lot, usually empty, of the intermediate school in Santa Ana where I tutor.
Typically, I’m at least two and a half hours early because of my seven a.m. macroeconomics class and because I don’t want to cross up and down Seventeenth a million times. So, every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, I wait in...
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Ain’t Slept in Weeks
A response to Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper”. Winter 2011.
My life was modeled after Jane Austen and Beethoven, at least, that was what I presented or told to anyone who wanted to inquiry. Really, I sustained myself on Lewis Carroll and Portishead. Part of the reason may have been my mother, and the other might have been because I was perpetually enrolled...
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Tin Samurai
A response to Guy De Maupassant’s “The Necklace”. Winter 2011.
There it sat. In a corner of the pawn shop next to old I Love Lucy posters. Forgotten, but it was beautiful, an ornate and immaculately lacquered scabbard with markings from the edo period of Japan. The blade was a testament to Japanese artisanship, and without even touching it, he could tell it was sharp. It was a...
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Buttes Like Lavender Griffons
A response to Ernest Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants”. Written as if Hemingway wrote a Gabriel Garcia Marquez story. Winter 2011.
The lines of the afternoon’s oppressive heat danced off the asphalt in front of the café in the city’s centre. The street circled the café making it an island in the dizzy motion of rush hour. Surrounding both the street and the café were...
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My Day in the Life of Jason Statham
I’d wake up and gingerly reach for the tiny bell next to my ivory nightstand. Shaking the bell thrice, a buxom Polynesian woman would walk into the master bedroom and serve me breakfast. Nothing extravagant for today, simply a poached egg served in the top half of the world’s oldest humanoid fossil’s skull. After finishing my sparse meal, I’d clap and a matronly Portuguese woman would...
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How to Tell Women on Public Transportation that...
Constraints: 1) Paragraphs can be no less than 100 characters and no more than 140 characters. 2) The two protagonists have to be two deceased people of different genders from history. 3) By the end of the story, the protagonists need to discover a dead body. 4) One of the two protagonists has to say, “I’m getting too old for this shit.” 5) By the time the protagonists find the...
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Coolly High
Baby, I’m already cool, I say as you eye my beige member’s only jacket. The look you give me like what is this still 1985? I smile coolly or coldly. I don’t have a track record for control and tell you that it’s always 1985, baby. Reagan, or Bush, what’s the fuckin’ difference? My shallow political commentary makes you laugh. I pop the collar on my jacket. I’ve always popped my collar, baby,...